Ringing in another year

Well it was brought to my attention that I have not written in my blog for a while- a little over a month to be exact.

Can I just say that this year flew by like a jet plane- no a nuclear bomb.
And it will end with a boom!
Looking back, a lot has happened this year. It was probably one of the most eventful years of my life by far.
So much has happened, whether it was launching my newfound career or dwindling down an endless tunnel.
Not only did I learn about the real dog eat dog world, but I also learned more about me- who I was and who I want to be.

I have a lot of recapping to do since Thanksgiving. Let's start with China!

Dec 10- Dec 25
I appreciate what I have here. The environment, the freedom and the stress free lifestyle.
After couple days of observation in Shanghai, I realized I would only live there if I'm rich- no wealthy.
Otherwise, it would be a struggle.
Living in the city for those two weeks really gave me a new perspective- on life, interpersonal relationships and the society
People treat you differently if you have status, or just show that you have money
But there are so many wealthy people in Shanghai, that it's unimaginable. I frequently ask myself- where does the money come from? Seriously, we're not talking about a small amount here- couple millions or billions. These people have hundreds and thousands of millions that routed from somewhere. Now my mission, is to find that birthing spot, the gold mine and the niche that will succeed as well.


Everyday, I woke up and started my day by rushing out the door and go where my Aunt takes me. I love my aunt, she's probably the closest relative to me. That is because we are so alike in many things- our tastes, our personality and of course our outlook on life.
I respect what she does and she is awarded for her hard work, but these past two weeks, it made me realize how stressful her life was. Either she is constantly yelling, talking, texting on the phone (which takes up about 80% of her day) or talking in person. Just watching her everyday makes me stressful and feel that her life is so overwhelming and suffocating that there's barely any room to breath and relax. There's not a moment where her brain can be fully turned off and just relax. I might not be making nearly to what she makes, but I am actually glad that I do not have that kind of lifestyle.

Now the people, there are quite a variety of personalities there. There's the snobby rich guy who does not respect you because you do not have any money. Or there's the educated rich guy who will be nice to everything because he is humble and believes that respect is mutual.
And I have met both. I believe it's wrong to treat someone with disrespect just because they're a waiter or waitress. Everyone started off from somewhere, I bet he was once a nobody as well. And that is just downright rude. I have to say that I have lost all my respect for him- doesn't matter if he's the CEO and he has tons of money. It's quite morally incorrect.

Then the society as a whole. It seems that they have forgotten the meaning of family. Everyone is so overwhelmed with their everyday life that they hardly talk to their family members. They all live in their own bubble- an occasional phone call or visit is the norm. That I find it hard to accept, we see our family members at least once a month. And phone calls are made every day.

People seem to be self centered and heartless, but I can't blame them. In their society, everyone is only looking out for themselves otherwise, they wouldn't survive. It is survival of the fittest, in this case survival of the smartest - to smart out each other

Dec 25 - Dec 31

Flight back home was great- except the 5 hour layover. Besides that, it was fabulous.
The plane only had 57 passengers, talk about losing money. Whoever was in charge of optimizing their spending was on vacation.

I never thought I would always say this, but home sweet home. I always had Shanghai as my home in my heart. And I still do. But after staying here for over 10+ years, Maryland has become my home too. This is where all my friends and families are, where I am comfortable with the surrounding and where my heart is.
As much as I want to move away and explore the world, home is where everything's at. I will always have Shanghai as my home in my heart and in my soul. Doesn't matter how many years I've been away for, all it takes is some time and I will feel like a local again.

Coming back to my family and friends was great. Seeing him was no different. I thought things would be different but it wasn't. Everything just fell into its normal routine as if I never left. Now looking back, 2 weeks wasn't that bad.

Now life's back on track to its normal routine. Work, eat and play.
The New Years approaching and new resolutions should be made! My old resolutions were not fully fulfilled, thus it shall continue this year.

1) Make more money, save more money
2) spend quality time with my loved ones
3) get fit get fit get fit-gym gym gym
4) study for GMATS
5) travel
6) make more money

now cheers to the New Year and looking forward to what life has in store for US <3

<3
GZ

You & I

You pick your battles and I pick mine. But this has become a battle for you & I.
There's no such thing as yours & mine, or a line of clear distinction.
Whats yours, is mine.
When you're down, I want to cheer you up.
When you're sick, I want to heal your pain
When you're lonely, my presence should cheer you up
When you're mad, I let you take it out on me


But when you're being taken advantage of, I will take care of it
It hurts to hear you say, stay out of my business.
But your business has become my business.
your issues are my issues
I just thought we were closer than that.


But I promised and I will keep that promise


but just remember,
when your world come crashing down, I will catch you with my open brace (cold joke there).


What they say is true- "when you find the right one, nothing else in the world matters as long as I'm with you"
And I hope you feel the same too.


You got me & my heart and that's all you need.


afterall,  I am the one and only Grace Zhang


<3
YOUNGZ


You are on your own.
You made the distinction and I will grant your wish.
You handle your own crap and I will handle mine.
You pushed me to this point.
there is no you & I, not before, not now because you made that choice
you made your move, and it's my turn to make mine.

So many things I want to experience.
But all has to wait.
Wait until this is all over. Wait until I can be normal with my daily routines again.
Wait for the release that I have been patiently waiting for in the last 6 months.
They say patience is a virtue, but don't you think I waited long enough?
There is a limit to how much a person can wait for.
My patience is running out.
I want to move on with my life.
I want to do things that I've been wanting to do
I want to be active again, to workout, to experience different activities
But I cannot do any of those.
And I don't know how much longer I can take before I break down

that date will determine it all.
whether it'll make my day or ruin the remaining months of 2011
so I wish and pray
please let everything be okay.


yours truly,
<3
璐

Cliq of eccentric human beings

There's always that group of friends that you turn to, that close group of people
that you knows you the best and will be there for you.
Then there are some people who have tons of friends and try to be outgoing/ fake,
but yet they can't depend on any of them when they are really in need.

My question is, how do you determine who these real friends are?
Because you've known them for a long time? Or because you have a lot in common?
Or is it that you talk to them almost everyday and knows everything about them?

For me, its a mesh of both.
These are the people that I've gotten close to over the course of my college years.
Yes we've had our ups and down- bitching and yelling at each other. Dishing out each others dirt
and talk shiet about each other. Or completely opposite like I am with my bff- no arguments or fights ever.
But at the same time, these are the people that were there for me when I was sad and depressed.
When I didn't want to get out of bed because of a break up
That looked out for me and told me that "hes not for you" and " you could do so much better"
Those that consulted me when I was dorothy trying to follow the yellow brick path.
They gave me advice on relationships, family and school and everything in between.

Even when they do something bad, something that hurts you. Yet at the end of the day,
you can still look past it all and hope to think the best out of it.
That they were just looking out for you and meant no harm.

No matter what happens, I do know that these people will be in my life for a really long time,
these are the people that will walk with me through it all.
We've grown so much together and know so much of each other.
You know they are your close friends when you can be completely yourself with them- and I mean talk about EVERYTHING- (doing the dirty deed, criticizing about yourself, and the list goes on and on).

What got me started thinking about all this?
Weddings- of course. (wedding planner that is)
And made me think, who will be my bridesmaids?

Although we've all had the worst fallout of the year- but its moments like that
that brings everyone closer
even when you dont talk to that person for a really long time but when you do start talking, you pick up just where you left off

So I'm pretty fortunate to say that I'm lucky
and then there are some who aren't.
All I do is smile and keep my unpleasant comments to myself.

C'est Fini
<3
璐

my favorite saying of all time

you don't know what you got 'till its gone.

now why does that happen?
you're suppose to cherish what you have WHEN you have it..
there is no point once it's gone

so remember, never take what you have for granted, cherish it the moment you have it

otherwise it'll be too late.

Reassurance

reassurance is all I needed.
no matter how secure, confident, assured I am, there are times that I just need that reassurance.
to say that "everything is okay"
to say that "I want to be with you"
to say that "you're the one"
to say that "I won't ever leave unless you leave"
to say that "you're mine"
even though I know this deep down, its good to hear it once in a while.
to be reassured by you

as promised, this will never come up again.
I will enjoy the time we have together
nothing but joy && happiness

You make me so happy and I wont ever do anything to jeapordize it
what we have, what we have created

I do trust you- more than I have trusted anyone.
don't doubt my trust.

Hakuna Matata~


p.s. I claim that icebox and will chisle my name on it if I have to :)

<3 hopeless romantic
Graciielu

Enchanted

"To spend a life of endless bliss, just find who you love through true love's kiss."


I've found him.
And I'll hold him close

                               Finally found my Prince Charming, my Knight in Shining Armor, my other half and my one and only <3


<3
璐

I'll follow you until the end of time ~

Respect. Loyalty. Friendship

Steve Jobs

1955-2011
Ironic that he died a day after the announcement of the new iPhone 4S.
Maybe he finally decided to let go after seeing how successful his dream has been
and what a difference he's made to the world.
Everyone is mourning his death, but I feel that he visioned it coming.
He was prepared and he knew it was going to happen - soon
Thus he made the decisions that he did.
No matter what, he might not be among us anymore, but his inventions will live on.
I'm sure he's at peace knowing he's made a difference in this world, impacted everyones lives and engraved his name in history.

RIP. You have inspired me to pursue what I love, live my life, and enjoy the ride <3

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards.
Because believe the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path"

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

 http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/10/06/in-2005-speech-steve-jobs-muses-on-death/#ixzz1a17t4XUl

Birthday Recap- Deuces

I realized that I did not recap about my birthday!

Saturday went REALLY well. It is true that planning ahead have a much better outcome than procrastination.

I had a lot of fun- drama free amazingly fun with old and new friends.
I have a great friends and I love them all- even though I may not be able to call them all close, they're still good friends that I try to keep in touch with every here and now.

Times like this makes you realize who are your closest friends and who will always be there for you.
I have to admit- Tony's friends are very "man to their words" I would say. They don't flake ( most of time) and they show up. Probably because of the close bound that all of them have growing up.

Both of my best friends couldn't make the party- I understand their situations but I wish they did.
It would be nice to see all my friends at one place all together. But things come up and we're all adults now with different priorities.

Life's a lot busier than before and it will continue to get busier.
But I will try my best to balance work, family, love and friends.

<3
璐

Greed

The higher you are in life,
The harder the fall.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Greed is the downfall of human society.
Be satisfied with what you have.

Birth-Day

My Birthday was yesterday and it was one of the bestestest days of my life.
The day started off normal with greetings from my family.
Work was the usual, along with some birthday wishes as well.
Then the good things happened and it all went uphill from there
Tony had lilac roses delivered to my work and of course it attracted a lot of attention.
One of my coworkers went and bought cupcakes to honor my birthday- which was extremely nice of her.
Ran some errands to prepare for the party this weekend and went over to Tinas.
She got me a Clarisonic and can't wait to use it! It was extremely nice of her to buy me such an expensive gift when she doesn't even have a job.

Went home and was greeted by the face that I was longing to see the whole day - my BFF in his signature white shirt.
Dinner was great and had yummy mousse cake- brought over by my love.
After dinner is when the surprise started.
We went down to my room and somehow got onto the discussion of me being a glamorous wife-(fact)
He said," well you have to put a ring on it"
I dug into my jewelry box and found a "manly" looking ring and offered it to him.
He said," how about this one"- and there in his hands was a colorful box with a ring inside of it
My reaction- really? wthhh..nah huh.. you didn't (yes not the best reaction and this wasnt the first time)
It was 3 sapphire stones sitting on white gold. It fit perfectly onto my right ring finger- like it was meant to be.
I love how thoughtful he is. I love how he listens to everything I say and actually uses it.
He bought lilac because of my recent obsession of dark purple.
He bought the sapphire ring because I once said I want something sapphire and rings are my fav jewelry.
He bought mousse cake because my mom loves it.
We then took Tochi out for a walk and he got me a jacket from his so I wouldnt get sick.

He's doing everything right and I can't ask for more.
This is exactly how I imagine it to be; how I want it to be.

He's the best and I'm so grateful to call him mine. I couldn't be any happier than I am now.

Onto the other side, Charlie wrote me a very cute card - on Tochis behalf as well.
My parents made dinner and treated me like a princess

Saturday is the actual party and I cannot wait to see old and new friends!
It will be the last time that I actually throw a party for my birthday- I'm getting too old for this.
But it will be fun, glamorous and amazing! can't wait.


LAST- From this point on, NEED TO START SAVING! :)

wish & pray

I know I'm not the biggest believer in God
and I definitely do not live up to par of a religious person.
But I really want this.
So I will pray.
Pray that I will get this, pray that God will look out for me.
Wish that this will come true.
I don't quite remember when was the last time I really wanted something this bad.
But I do.
It will open up another series of my life- a better life.
God has always been the lookout for me- So please make it happen


<3

The Hopeful

The Date

Through all my relationships, the date was "the day" that we were together, as bf/ gf.
It was the day that makes everything official and it was so important to me. That was The Date, anniversary to celebrate how long we've been together as a couple.
Today, marks The Date of a new relationship. But somehow, this feels different because we were already together way before this.

It was definitely a new approach for me, to date each other and get to know each other better before actually settle into a relationship. It actually made sense- to not bind into and commit to a relationship before knowing what the other person is like.
Even though in the bad of my head, I repeatedly told myself that if everything will fall into place on its own.
However, the date still mattered to me at the time. Somehow, it embarked the beginning of our relationship - even though we were already together, doing thing what couples did, acted like a couple everywhere we go.
I wanted The Day to be the perfect day- everything go the way it planned.
But I realized that life isn't always about whats planned, and it will never go the way it was planned.
He asked, on 09.10.11 but I wanted to wait for my desired date of 11.11.11 (Don't ask me why).
Then today, I was given his PW and I thought what a great opportunity, and different this would be. Since I never gave him a direct answer(which was on a ferris wheel too~) then I should act this time. And so I did.

After it was "official", I don't feel any different. That is because nothings has changed and nothing will change. The only difference will be how we call each other -if that even changes.
And that it is public for everyone to know that we are together. But that is not important because deep inside, I already know we are together as a couple and I was already in a relationship whether it was official or not.

Being that said, this day is not any different than any other day I spent with you. Because everyday with you is a special day to me- as long as I'm yours. Your Friend Friend, Booboolu, LuBi, Grace Face - your baby.

Nothings going to be different, nothings going to change.
It will only get better from this point on.

P.S. disregard todays date. It will still be 11.11.11, I just used a Time Machine fast forward in the future.
That's how impatient I am <3 I'm giving you my heart so cherish it, nourish it, never break it.

Love,

B(FF)

so much to do in so little time

It's been a while my dearest blog!
Life has been very busy and eventful.
Sometimes, I realize that I'm so consumed by the things around me that I never give myself any time.
I tire my self out with work, family and friends that there seem to be so little time for myself.
My brain is constantly processing and working and overthinking.
I wish there could be a time where I do not think about anything, nothing at all
but just to sit on the beach and relax, with no worries.
Or sleep my days away and rejuvnate my body & mind.

Travel, that's something that I ALWAYS want to do.
To just take a month trip across the world and go to places that I've never been before, eat new exotic food and meet strangers.
That is the next thing on my list, the moment I have the opportunity to travel around the world, I MUST.

I also want to work in different places, it was always a goal of mine.
But Maryland has always hold me back, whether if it was my parents or my friends.
But if I dont take the opportunity to explore and do it now, then I may NEVER have that opportunity in the future.

Home will always be here waiting for me.

Next trip: ASIA - SHANGHAI && HK
Followed by
EUROPE

All you have to do is ask

You don't have to go snoop around, or try to find things to read about.
If you really want to know how I feel or what I'm thinking,
all you have to do is ask.
It's as simple as that.
Ask if I'm upset, ask if I'm sad, ask if I'm annoyed
Half of the time you should know how I feel by the way I act.

But instead, you have to go through my personal things.
I feel violated, played, intruded.
These things are my feelings that I keep to myself, thoughts I talk to my friend about.
I feel that someone just raped my room apart.
It's not that I have things to hide, nor I was being sketchy behind your back.
It's that I want to keep certain things to myself, to be called MINE.


You don't share all your thoughts or feelings with me.
I have to prey out of you half of the time.
If you can't be open with me, then how do you expect me to do the same?
You went through my personal belongings and yet you turn around and say that you're disappointed in me?

I don't see the logic in that.
I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue. Especially not on this day or tomorrow.
I just want things to go back to before
No snooping, no doubting but trust each other.
If you feel insecure or don't trust me, just have to let me know.

I have insecurities too. I have doubts as well.
If you don't trust me or are feeling insecure, just let me know.
I NEED you to reassure me at times too, tell me that you love me and mean it.
Tell me that you miss me and want to hold me.
Tell me that I'm forever yours even though it might not be true.
These are the things that girls want to hear, and I as a girl want to hear that too.
Otherwise, I analyze. I over think. I doubt and I get scared.
I get insecure about the future....

I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to put myself in that position.
I don't want to fall hard and get my heart broken.
If you want to protect yourself, I want to do the same.

I'm tired.
Tired of the one that has to do the spilling,
tired of the one expressing all my feelings so you can read me inside and out
tired of trying to figure out what's going through your mind
tired of waiting and hoping for the best
tired of looking at everything with half full glass perspective

For once, I just want to know what is EXACTLY going through your mind and what you are thinking at this exact moment.
What you want out of this and where we are going.
If we're not on the same page, then better now than later

"My wants are simple: a job that I like and a guy whom I love."

I think that is what majority people in this world seek for.
Some of us are fortunate enough to have both, some have to take the time to find it.
Hopefully, that time won't take forever.
This brings me to the topic of a job that I like and the money it pays.
My friend told me last night that there is a job opening at his place and it matches my major.
I'm sure the money is much greater than what I am getting paid.
Should I feel guilty at all for leaving this job to "jump ship" to take another job?
For some reason, I feel bad. I feel guilty that I am even applying to another job.
But the business world have no feelings. You gotta do what you gotta do.


To make this statement even more simple: My want is to be happy :)

When you know why you like someone, it's a crush. When you have no reason or explanation, it's love.

Happy Birthday Tochi :)

My baby's turning 2 today!
I absolutely LOVE him and he's the joy of my world.
Although he has definitely abandoned me as an owner and is loyal to my mom now.
How can I blame him? I hardly spend any time at home with him now days.
But as long as he's happy, I'm happy.

Anyways, I'm so glad that this little man came into my life :)

On the other note,
I cannot describe how happy and how amazing these past couple of days has been.
Everything was absolutely perfect and it was nice to have carefree, relaxing days waking up to his smile (rather a smirk). Let me tell you, that smirk is rather contagious and I have a smirk too!

I finally feel that I've reached a good balance in my life and I hope it doesnt stop here.

I'm also glad that this man came into my life too ;)


Stellar <3

Friday Favorites

why hello stranger.
I have not written in my blog for almost a week!
Probably because I've been super caught up with balancing work and my life.
This week has been swell. Not being at home is quite nice but I have to admit that I do miss my room, my bed and my bathroom.

The house searching is quite tiring, and scary. The thought of actually moving out is actually hitting me and I feel like this is the final step into independence. IF I can afford a house by myself, then I am official an adult.

On the other note, I've been thinking a lot lately.
Or thinking has taken the toll of me.
Certain moments, thoughts just rush into my head and forces me to ponder on the subject. As much as I want to push it to the side, it won't leave me alone. Which makes me wonder, am I missing something in my life? As happy as I am these days, why do I always want more. Nothing ever seems to fulfill my full satisfaction.

I came upon this quote:

" There's no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen. In the right time, with the right person, for the best reason."

God has an answer for me, and he's testing.
For my patience and growth,
Whether what the reason is
It will be a lesson learned.

My question is, how long do I have to wait, how much time will it take, for me to find the answer?


<3
璐

<3
When you look at this picture, you see two lover standing under the umbrella right?
But according to the Chinese culture, never stand under the umbrella with your lover, but the relationship will be doomed.
Umbrella in Chinese translates to separate, part in different ways.
The irony of this photo keeps me pondering.
Nonetheless, I <3 this photo and I want that red umbrella.

What a Weekend

This weekend was quite eventful.

Saturday: Lake Anna VA. The weather could've been a little more helpful but it gave us a different kind of experience. It was a fun trip but it also could've been a lot more fun if I could swim in the water and etc. But it's all for the better in the long run.

Sunday: Family day. Took the kids out for lunch, froyo, bubble tea, and boat paddling.
I felt like a mother for the day and I definitely want to quality time with my kids in the future. Every Sunday would be a family bonding day with various activities to relax and play. Then family BBQ! It was great because I don't ever remember the last time we had all 21 members of our immediate family together. Someone was always missing, but not this Sunday. Everyone was there and the house was filled with laughter && joy. I am very grateful to have a family like mine. Adults who will always be kids at heart and joke around like they're in college. They are very open minded and loves trying new things such as DDR and doesnt mind being silly && goofy with us all. I love my family & it makes me sad that one day I'll be leaving them and move away from home. As much as I want my freedom, I still want to spend as much time with them as I can.


Thoughts from last night

I never asked this to happen nor did I ever wanted this to happen. And it takes me back to that night. That one choice I made can be easily counted as a mistake. It was a mistake for me to go that night, if I went home, the timing would've been different and everything would be okay. If only I told him to put on his seat belt, I can still clearly visualize seeing him getting inside the car thinking " why is he sitting behind me when the other side is closer to him?" Then I answered my own question, because there more leg room behind my chair. And I remember turning back and saw him wearing the same plaid shirt that he wore last time we went out. And I thought, he should put his seatbelt on just in case. But I never spoke out loud because I knew he would say, "I don't need to put on a seatbelt." So I never spoke my mind and I wish that I did. Because it would've changed everything.
GOD I'm so bitter and scared. Bitter that this brace is ruining my summer, my 22nd birthday, and all the other adventures I could've had. Scared that things will never be the same and I would have to get operated on and I can NEVER do the things I use to do. The things I once loved, the things I would've loved.

"Some things are out of your control, it's your choice to make it a tragedy or a party"
There is only one way to look at this, and that is to make the best out of it.
Head held high with a big fat smile, use this brace to my advantage.

Yours,
Grace Brace <3

Libra kind of Tuesday ~

Overview

Oh the lessons you have endured over the course of 2010. You're not the same people-pleasing darling you were a mere 12 months ago. On the contrary darling -- you are in the midst of a powerful process of cultivating the kind of backbone that makes greatness. Thanks to big daddy Saturn you're learning your lessons well in relinquishing laziness, strengthening discipline, and realizing your authority. You're taking yourself more seriously in the arenas where it matters most. (Read: career and getting paid what you're worth.)

Relationships bring plenty of passion, drama and unexpected plot twists especially during the spring. By the time May rolls around you'll be dealing with an unprecedented amount of planetary energy firing up your relationship sector. With six planets including Venus, your ruler and Jupiter, the planet of abundance lining up in your partnership sector you'll be anything but lonely. The challenge lies in staying true to your own needs without getting lost in the persuasive me-me-me demands of your significant others.

Although some of Saturn's lessons will weigh in on a heavier note and perhaps depriving you of any former easy-outs or shortcuts, you have the uncanny ability to take it all in stride. There's something to be said for the inherent Libran laid-back approach to life's challenges. But under current planetary duress you may join the ranks of the stressful millions in your quest for regaining inner peace and unshakable equilibrium. Forever striving for that elusive balance, you're being put through the cosmic ringer when it comes to finding and holding your own with others. But you will get there Libra -- just you wait and see!

Romantic

Co-dependency be damned, Libra! You've had your fill of accommodating every wish, desire and need of your mate to your own detriment. You're also finished with sugarcoating the truth and resorting to passive-aggressive tactics to get your needs met. For a sign that prefers balance, such extreme give and no take throws your scales way off kilter. The imbalance can no longer be ignored or justified. The rules of the game have changed and you've learned to just say no. Saturn has been working hard on rebalancing the karmic scales and forcing you to draw some serious lines in order to regain important equilibrium in your partnerships. Relationships continue to be a major priority this year Libra, but topping this list is the relationship you have with number one. Falling in love with yourself and being true to your needs is no longer a luxury but a dire necessity.

You've survived enough painful romantic disillusionments to last you a lifetime during Neptune's spell in your romantic sector over the past fourteen years. Of course falling in love certainly has it's high points but the crash after the reality check gets to be too much after enough heart-break repeats. The good news is that Neptune leaves your romantic sector for good allowing you to once again trust your perceptions when choosing your match. Love is especially in the air when Venus enters Libra in late September and early October, just in time to guarantee a wonderfully amorous birthday season.

Career

You're still revamping your true vocational calling by cutting out all of the extraneous little side-jobs that once ate up so much of your precious time. The final days of the North Node in your career sector at the start of 2011 give you one last prodding to determine your own true north. No longer can you beg the question. Fence sitting in all aspects of your life is quickly becoming an extinct option, especially when it comes to your work. By nature you're indecisive but 2011 is the year for commitment. Put your doubts aside and just get on with what you do best: bringing more beauty and harmony to everything you touch. At the end of the day, you're an artist -- and that's that.

Although you may still be saddled with your fair share of responsibilities, you're finally able to see the forest through the trees and get a grip on the bigger career picture. You prefer any work that involves socializing, utilizing your creative and intellectual talents and of course flirting your heart out. This is why sitting behind an isolated desk doing menial tasks will just never rock your world. You're finally coming to terms with saying no to anything you consider a giant waste of your time, and you can thank Saturn for that. Adding to the planetary support to align work with soul, Neptune, the planet of glamour and dreams enters your work sector this April through August. It shall then again return in 2012 to stay for an extended 14-year ride, making sure that you absolutely adore what you do. This is a wonderful opportunity to find meaning and inspiration in your work.

whoaa.. creepy =.=

Do you ever

get that feeling that something just isn't right?
something is out of place?
I just have that lingering feeling for some reason...and I don't know why?

On the other note,
After listening to my girlfriends talking about their men and what they've been going through really opens up my eyes.

They spent so much time and energy on this one guy and yet they do not get in return of what they deserve.
In the end, we ask ourselves was it worth it? Every tear, heartache, argument, fight was it worth it?
They might not be on the same page and they might not give as much as we give them.
We wear our hearts on our sleeves and yet they take us for granted.
But we learn and that's the best thing we can ever wish for. Is to learn from each relationship, not about love but more about yourself.
And it teaches you to be smarter, better, wiser on the next relationship.
At the same time, don't ever give up anything for someone else. That's the biggest mistake you can ever make.
There is a way to show your complete love to him and still be true and fair to yourself.

To not fall complete head over heels and still show him your whole heart.
And when we find that way, that is true balance of life.


On the other hand, there are people out there who knows RIGHT away that "he's the one" at first sight.
Both people begin their relationship on the same page of being forever with the other person and they conquer the tears, the fights with that mindset.
Unfortunately, not everyone is this lucky to just KNOW right away. Some of us have to go through it all to realize "he's not the one"

I don't think I'm those Lucky ones. Maybe at one point in time I was, but as I grow each day, the more realistic I become.
Looking at what others have become frightens me.
Marriages get called off. Couples break up after years and years of dedication. The heartbreaks can be mended but Time cannot rewind
Time is precious, and time is never coming back. The only thing I do not have right now is Time.
And yet God is slowly taking away my time as I realize how much I want to conquer in the next few years.
So I say, I must find myself, find what I want in life and live every moment of it.

Do whatever makes me happy

<3
璐

It's Friday

which means.....

:) 我想你！
快点回到我的身边。

<3
璐

So God, tell me what is your reason for all of this?
What is it that you want me to learn?
Help me understand.

<3

璐

BucketList

Travel (Must invest in a DSLR before I start traveling and scrap/ capture every moment)

• Cruise
• Antartica
• Europe
• Australia
• Brazil

Buy

• Sapphire ring/ earrings/ necklace
• DSLR

Broadway show- Wicked

Sports event - Football, Soccer, Basketball, Hockey, Ice Skating

Yoga & Pilates

Pole Dance

Event Coordinating - Wedding/ Fashion show

Produce/ Record a song

Paint a picture/ painting for my room

Get a tattoo of something meaningful on my body

Photoshoot with friends

Stargazing - buy a telescope first

Sew/ Knit an outfit for Tochi

Make an outfit for myself

Thrift shopping

Roadtrip

Attend concerts

Rooftop Patio party

Masquerade

Surfing

Climb a mountain

Attend Comedy show

Attend burlesque show

Be a playboy bunny for a day

Ballroom dance & Contemporary dance

Visit a renaissance fair

Witness a lunar and solar eclipse

Join a Luau

Complete a Race for the Cure

Learn to sail

Swim with Dolphins, Dolphin watch, Scuba Diving etc

Jet Ski by myself

Skiing

Learn to play volleyball, football etc

Horseback riding on the beach

Go snowmobile

Be vegetarian for a month

Help & Shelter homeless animals & volunteer whenever I can

Learn to figure skate

Improve my singing & rap & beatbox

Be healthy and get toned- eat very well

Learn to dive

Shooting range

Archery

Boxing in a ring

Learn Latin & improve my French

Learn to play the piano and guitar

Snorkling

Ride in a hot air balloon

Skydiving

Helicopter ride

Drive a Helicopter/ Plan

Drive a car on the beach/ dirt biking

Race on a racetrack

Learn to drive a motorcycle

Learn to drive manual well

Ride a mechanical bull

Go rock climbing

Ride a camel

Whale watching

Hop with Kangeroo

Milk a cow

Ride an elephant

Watch an animal being born

Collect eggs from a nest

Visit and admire famous paintings

Perform on the street

Attend Mardi Gras

Learn magic tricks

Learn pottery, glassware

Take gourmet cooking class

Solve Rubix cube

Decorate my house with things I've made

Learn different types of wine

Learn different types of cheese

Write a book on my life

Makeup lessons

Get a pixie cut

Dye my hair

Perm my hair

Visit a castle

Design my house/ wedding dress/ ring

Create a youtube video

Be on TV

Cirque Du Soleil

Go to a Nascar event

Bartend

Eat in an undersea restaurant

Charoling during Christmas

Skinny Dipping

Meet someone famous

Visit Longwoord Garden in PA

Plant flowers in the yard

Visit Butterfly garden

Finish Iron Girl

** Live life to the fullest with no regrets. Love with no boundaries. Laugh without tears.**

I just realized how valuable time is
Never waste a moment
Cherish every second
Fulfill your dreams
and
Live Happy
<3

Fear

definition:

a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined.

 

A bittersweet feeling as this week approaches near. 

Three months ago, I have been waiting for this day to come.

As the day is almost here, my body is filled with fear, anxiety and sadness. 

Scared of the unknown because I don't know what is going to happen. 

Anxious to find out the final verdict

For some reason, I have a bad feeling and is preparing myself for the worst. 

I thought I would know for sure by this week that everythings all healed up and I'm good as before.

But for some reason, I don't feel that way.

 

I don't feel a-okay

I don't feel all healed up

and 

I don't feel like before

 

The thought of not being able to do the things I once loved to do scares me.

 

tell me "everythings gonna be alright"

 

Wish for the best<3

 

 

 

I'm the Exception to the Rule

First off, its FRIDAY.
This week took forever, but I made it through in one piece.
Time to relax this weekend, it also means I'm just that much closer to next Wednesday.

Quote of the week: " head held up and pursue my dreams" && " stand up for what you want & what makes you happy"

Must Do's for the rest of the year:

- Travel ( cruise)
- Go shopping crazy!
- Broadway show
- Try new foods (restaurants)
- Birthday Month!! deuces
- Yoga && Pilates
- Start business/ brainstorm/ make dough
- Buy a Pole
- Pimp up Louie


spoil my rents & Charlie.

stolen from BFF

where were you when I needed you the most.

Do what you say, say what you do

Action speak priorities.
Action speak lourder than words


"Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. "

Just when things were going well,
For once I found my balance,
My world starts crashing down.

All I can say is
this is to test my limits.
Bring it on.

______'ve

The could've, would've, should'ves in life is what makes it so interesting and intriguing.
The mistakes are what perfects the future

<3
璐

L.O.V.E

L.O.V.E- a word that we overlook on a daily basis.

Love comes when manipulation stops;
When you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you.
When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

The question is are you willing to put yourself out there to get hurt?
When will you know its true love?
What about after it all? How will the other person react?
They might take you for granted because they know how much you love them.


The manipulation of relationships/ love never stops until you find THE ONE. Because then, nothing else will matter.

<3 璐

We Are Made One with What We Touch And See- Oscar Wilde

And we two lovers shall not sit afar,
Critics of nature, but the joyous sea
Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star
Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be
Part of the mighty universal whole,
And through all Aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!.

We shall be notes in that great Symphony
Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,
And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be
One with our heart, the stealthy creeping years
Have lost their terrors now, we shall not die,
The Universe itself shall be our Immortality!

Concept of Circle

What goes around comes around.
Got to break the circle and stop the continuity.
If he's annoyed and I let his annoyance get to me then I become annoyed. Then I'm annoyed at him for being annoyed in the first place. Then he's annoyed at me for being annoyed at him Because he was annoyed. You get my drift? It'll end up being a continuance cycle with no end.
Therefore, I will not let it get to me and ruin my sleep.

" it's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal"

Said sincerely yours,
璐

Avec Moi ~

"Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

Breath In && Out

you never realize how much you've changed
until you see yourself deal with certain situation.
I've definitely came a long way to get where I am
and I like it.
Patient. Calm. Clear minded
not the Hot Headed. Impatient. Tempered girl I use to be.

I tell myself
Breath in && out.

wooooosa.

<3
璐

Happy

all I can say is I'm truly happy.
I don't think I've been this content with my life until now.
I have never ever said this before but God is good <3
Don't ever lose faith in yourself and everything will fall into place.
:)

Mazda Miata

So I was told the other day that I resemble a Miata.
If you could be compared to a car (interior, exterior, price, maintenance) what car do you think you will be?
I personally think I'm a VW Jetta. But a Miata works too :)

Fashion Friday: Bold Lips

First post of my Fashion Friday blogs.
Today, I want to focus on bold lips.
Couple seasons ago, the trend was red lips. I have always been in love having red lips with an outfit. Because the color is so bright and bold, the rest of the outfit have to be toned down. The makeup have to be subtle because you want the attention to focus on the lips. So I normally pair my red lips with a black outfit or a white outfit. If you want the color red to pop out more in your outfit, you can easily pair it with some red pumps. That will definitely draw eyes to you on a night out!

Now recently, I've invested in an orange lipstick. And I have to say that I am absolutely in love with it! It is a lot more daring and different than the red lipstick but you can definitely do more with the rest of the outfit. This summer, orange lips have been very popular. I would pair my orange lipstick with pastel colors. That way, the outfit won't draw the attention away from your lips and at the same time, adding the summer feel to your whole look.

I realized that not everyone can pull off these bold lip colors and if paired wrong, the whole look can go south! So if you're feel adventurous, definitely feel free to try it out and remember to go less on the eye makeup.

love her bob!

One of my favorite celebrities. Lauren Conrad. Her website is amazing with great tips and her collection is very California chic!

Bon Appetite!

GraciieLu

Be Strong.

I would consider myself a strong girl, mentally and physically. I can say that I've been in many situations where others would not make it through. But lately I've been feeling weak and helpless both mentally and physically. I feel mentally drained not from work but from life. Why can't everything just be straight forward and direct? Instead of all the twisted words and crooked logic. Everything that's happened in the past couple of months has gotten to me. Or maybe I'm just tired of always having to be strong and consume everything inside of me. Tired of having to be the iron girl. Just because on the surface I act like I can tolerate it all, doesn't always mean that I can handle it all. Just because I stay strong, doesn't give you a reason to hurt me. Usually I'm the bigger person, letting insignificant things go, but there is a limit on how much a person can take. I don't deserve some of the things that has happened, but I blame no one but myself. I'm responsible for myself and my actions, but I am still standing here comfortably in my own skin.

But lately unanswered questions have been wondering through my head.
Why do good things have to end? Why can't things just be simple and clear?
Why did all these happen to me? What did I ever do wrong? 
Something that I was once so sure of, is becoming more doubtful than before.
I don't think anyone realizes how hard it has been for me. There are things that I cannot tell but to think about it through the endless nights.
I grew up doing everything myself. If I want something, I get it myself. If I want to pursue something, I will get there on my own. I don't want to feel helpless, and have other people do things for me. And I hate when people pity me. I don't need you to feel sorry for me but to feel happy that I will make it through all by myself. 

I've been holding this in for way too long. Even iron man malfunctions and breaks down.

Action speak louder than words. Do what you say, say what you do. But I guess you can have too much expectation because you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. 
I'm disappointed in myself for letting myself get here. I know better.

The hardest part is not to be strong, but to admit that you are weak and to your flaws.  I have many flaws but they make me who I am today. And I'm proud of   e v e r y    f   l  a  w    o   f      m  i   n   e



perfectly imperfect,

璐

Happily Ever After

"When you find somebody you love, all the way through, and she loves you --even with your weaknesses, your flaws, everything starts to click into place. And if you can talk to her, and she listens, if she makes you laugh, and makes you think, makes you want, makes you see who you really are, and who you are is better, just better with her, you'd be crazy not to want to spend the rest of your life with her." -Nora Roberts

All the wedding-ness has definitely got to me! Just finished 3 out of the 4 books of the Bride Quartet series by Nora Roberts. I have to say the plot and language of the books are all very similar. I could pretty much predict the second and third book after reading the first one. However, each book has a different protagonist and a different kind of love story. The general plot is[SPOILER ALERT]they meet, hook up, be in a "situation" not really defining the relationship but at the same time sleep with each other. Then they have a moment and realize that they truly love the other person and cannot live without them, gets engaged in the span of couple months and plan their wedding. But when you think about it, the chances of a romance happening like that is probably 1 out of 100. And the success rate of the marriage is probably even less. But maybe..just maybe that there is one lucky couple that lives happily ever after.

Weddings and Marriage is such a happy thing. Two people fall in love and they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. But it is also scary. For the rest of your life, you are going to be with this person, everyday to love them, care for them, be there for them. Ever girl growing up imagined how their wedding would be, because its the day where they get to have everything their way. That was how we thought when we were younger. That was how I use to think. I planned every detail of my wedding, " I want this and that""I want dolphins and have it at the beach". But now putting myself in those shoes, its scary to imagine walking down the aisle and give the rest of your life to that one person. Who knows what would happen after this day. There's a possibility of divorce, or a very unhappy marriage. To those who are getting married, I give you props to be able to make that commitment and know that he/ she is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life and having the courage to go where your heart tells you. I envy those that has truly find their soul mates and has taken that leap of faith. To geniuely love someone with all your heart and not taken each other for granted, and to give them everything that you have and more. For them to believe that happily ever after does exist.

Love unconditionally,
璐

Now accepting applications for a Companion

According to the dictionary, the definition of companion is the following:

a. A person who accompanies or associates with another; a comrade.

b. A domestic partner.

c. One of a pair or set of things; a mate

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Honestly, no one is going to apply nor should anyone apply. If you look at the words closely, it is different from looking for a boyfriend or a significant other. It is rather one of a pair, a left shoe as a matter of a fact (because I'm always right). Now you can't leave the house with just one shoe can you? And if you substitute it with a different shoe, yes it's feasible but it still won't be the factory made perfect pair.

With recent dialogues, it made me realize that having someone to be called your companion is far more significantly important than calling someone you're boyfriend (and vice versa). A lot of thinking about how do you know he(she) is the one? The person that you're destined to be with? What are the signs? And when will I know? The Answer to all this is you don't and you won't. If only life was that easy and everything was simply laid out for us in black and white, if only.

But when that companion of yours does arrive your life, I think you'll know because he(she) should just fit into your life. Just like how the glass slipper only fit Cinderellas feet. There is only one companion for you. When you feel that you guys are on the same page, at the same point in life, be able to finish each others sentence, know what the other persons doing and most of all, being able to call them your best friend. Then that is your companion for life.

So going back to the shoe analogy, when you find your other mate, it will be the perfect pair like Rubys red slippers or Cinderellas glass shoes. Or in my case, Christian Louboutins black pumps  <3


-GracieLu

have you ever..

Have you ever had something bother you when you DON'T want it to? It's like you don't want it to get to you but it JUST DOES for some reason. Apparently, that's normal ( for girls). And it's out of our reach (just fabulous). I had something insignificant annoy/ irritate/ piss me off the other day (well more like yesterday) and it started a train of ranting/ cursing/ over analyzing. After talking to my girls, it made me feel better. But it still bothered me and I wondered why. WHY is something bothering me when I know it shouldn't? Why can't I control what I FEEL? It's not the others fault and I shouldn't blame others.

Then I realize its me. ME. I'm the PROBLEM. I'm the one that I should be pissed off at and I'm the one that I need to bitch. (point of self realization occurs). They're not the enemy, I AM. I shouldn't get mad at other people because they can do whatever they please. BUT I can control how I feel and decide what to feel. I am my own enemy and that is my weakness. I need to work on myself and learn how to CONTROL my feelings. If I let every little petty thing get to me, then I have too much time on my hands don't you agree? There are bigger and better things for me to worry about than dwelling on something that's insignificant and unimportant in my life. Be the bigger person, take the higher road. Let it go~

"You are your own greatest enemy"

- 璐

Happy Mothers day to all who is, was, and will be a mom

Happy Mothers Day!

These past couple of days made me realize how much I still need my mom and rely on her. Yes, I am an adult and I can pretty much live on my own. But there are certain times in our lives that we'll always be a vulnerable child and need the assistance of our moms. If it weren't for my mom for the past week, I would not be able to get out of bed every morning nor would I be able to feed myself. For that, I toast (my milk) to my mom.

We always goes through a phase in our lives where we want to fly on our own and away from our parents. But if you think about it, THIS is the only time in our lives where we'll ever get to live and be with our parents. This is the last bit of time that we can truly spend time with our parents and appreciate their bickering, ranting and yelling. Everything they do and say are to protect us from harm. In their eyes, we'll always be their "baby" and no matter how old we get, how far we move, or how much we talk back. They'll always love us unconditionally. I cannot be any more grateful than I am for having my mom beside me through the tears, the happiness and the pain. There are people out there that can no longer experience the motherly love and they must be so envious of us. For that, I will never take my mother for granted, nor will I take the moments we share together for granted.

I'm sure my mom has heard me say "I love you" and "you're the best" numerous times in the past week. I always thought I can finally fly on my own, but I guess no matter how ready I am, I will always be a baby in my mother's eyes.

I love you Mommy and I couldn't ask for more. You truly are the best and I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you over the past 21 years. And I do not know how you put up with me (but I guess you didn't have a choice =P ). 

My Mommy <3

Love,
璐