Birth-Day

My Birthday was yesterday and it was one of the bestestest days of my life.
The day started off normal with greetings from my family.
Work was the usual, along with some birthday wishes as well.
Then the good things happened and it all went uphill from there
Tony had lilac roses delivered to my work and of course it attracted a lot of attention.
One of my coworkers went and bought cupcakes to honor my birthday- which was extremely nice of her.
Ran some errands to prepare for the party this weekend and went over to Tinas.
She got me a Clarisonic and can't wait to use it! It was extremely nice of her to buy me such an expensive gift when she doesn't even have a job.

Went home and was greeted by the face that I was longing to see the whole day - my BFF in his signature white shirt.
Dinner was great and had yummy mousse cake- brought over by my love.
After dinner is when the surprise started.
We went down to my room and somehow got onto the discussion of me being a glamorous wife-(fact)
He said," well you have to put a ring on it"
I dug into my jewelry box and found a "manly" looking ring and offered it to him.
He said," how about this one"- and there in his hands was a colorful box with a ring inside of it
My reaction- really? wthhh..nah huh.. you didn't (yes not the best reaction and this wasnt the first time)
It was 3 sapphire stones sitting on white gold. It fit perfectly onto my right ring finger- like it was meant to be.
I love how thoughtful he is. I love how he listens to everything I say and actually uses it.
He bought lilac because of my recent obsession of dark purple.
He bought the sapphire ring because I once said I want something sapphire and rings are my fav jewelry.
He bought mousse cake because my mom loves it.
We then took Tochi out for a walk and he got me a jacket from his so I wouldnt get sick.

He's doing everything right and I can't ask for more.
This is exactly how I imagine it to be; how I want it to be.

He's the best and I'm so grateful to call him mine. I couldn't be any happier than I am now.

Onto the other side, Charlie wrote me a very cute card - on Tochis behalf as well.
My parents made dinner and treated me like a princess

Saturday is the actual party and I cannot wait to see old and new friends!
It will be the last time that I actually throw a party for my birthday- I'm getting too old for this.
But it will be fun, glamorous and amazing! can't wait.


LAST- From this point on, NEED TO START SAVING! :)

wish & pray

I know I'm not the biggest believer in God
and I definitely do not live up to par of a religious person.
But I really want this.
So I will pray.
Pray that I will get this, pray that God will look out for me.
Wish that this will come true.
I don't quite remember when was the last time I really wanted something this bad.
But I do.
It will open up another series of my life- a better life.
God has always been the lookout for me- So please make it happen


<3

The Hopeful

The Date

Through all my relationships, the date was "the day" that we were together, as bf/ gf.
It was the day that makes everything official and it was so important to me. That was The Date, anniversary to celebrate how long we've been together as a couple.
Today, marks The Date of a new relationship. But somehow, this feels different because we were already together way before this.

It was definitely a new approach for me, to date each other and get to know each other better before actually settle into a relationship. It actually made sense- to not bind into and commit to a relationship before knowing what the other person is like.
Even though in the bad of my head, I repeatedly told myself that if everything will fall into place on its own.
However, the date still mattered to me at the time. Somehow, it embarked the beginning of our relationship - even though we were already together, doing thing what couples did, acted like a couple everywhere we go.
I wanted The Day to be the perfect day- everything go the way it planned.
But I realized that life isn't always about whats planned, and it will never go the way it was planned.
He asked, on 09.10.11 but I wanted to wait for my desired date of 11.11.11 (Don't ask me why).
Then today, I was given his PW and I thought what a great opportunity, and different this would be. Since I never gave him a direct answer(which was on a ferris wheel too~) then I should act this time. And so I did.

After it was "official", I don't feel any different. That is because nothings has changed and nothing will change. The only difference will be how we call each other -if that even changes.
And that it is public for everyone to know that we are together. But that is not important because deep inside, I already know we are together as a couple and I was already in a relationship whether it was official or not.

Being that said, this day is not any different than any other day I spent with you. Because everyday with you is a special day to me- as long as I'm yours. Your Friend Friend, Booboolu, LuBi, Grace Face - your baby.

Nothings going to be different, nothings going to change.
It will only get better from this point on.

P.S. disregard todays date. It will still be 11.11.11, I just used a Time Machine fast forward in the future.
That's how impatient I am <3 I'm giving you my heart so cherish it, nourish it, never break it.

Love,

B(FF)

so much to do in so little time

It's been a while my dearest blog!
Life has been very busy and eventful.
Sometimes, I realize that I'm so consumed by the things around me that I never give myself any time.
I tire my self out with work, family and friends that there seem to be so little time for myself.
My brain is constantly processing and working and overthinking.
I wish there could be a time where I do not think about anything, nothing at all
but just to sit on the beach and relax, with no worries.
Or sleep my days away and rejuvnate my body & mind.

Travel, that's something that I ALWAYS want to do.
To just take a month trip across the world and go to places that I've never been before, eat new exotic food and meet strangers.
That is the next thing on my list, the moment I have the opportunity to travel around the world, I MUST.

I also want to work in different places, it was always a goal of mine.
But Maryland has always hold me back, whether if it was my parents or my friends.
But if I dont take the opportunity to explore and do it now, then I may NEVER have that opportunity in the future.

Home will always be here waiting for me.

Next trip: ASIA - SHANGHAI && HK
Followed by
EUROPE

All you have to do is ask

You don't have to go snoop around, or try to find things to read about.
If you really want to know how I feel or what I'm thinking,
all you have to do is ask.
It's as simple as that.
Ask if I'm upset, ask if I'm sad, ask if I'm annoyed
Half of the time you should know how I feel by the way I act.

But instead, you have to go through my personal things.
I feel violated, played, intruded.
These things are my feelings that I keep to myself, thoughts I talk to my friend about.
I feel that someone just raped my room apart.
It's not that I have things to hide, nor I was being sketchy behind your back.
It's that I want to keep certain things to myself, to be called MINE.


You don't share all your thoughts or feelings with me.
I have to prey out of you half of the time.
If you can't be open with me, then how do you expect me to do the same?
You went through my personal belongings and yet you turn around and say that you're disappointed in me?

I don't see the logic in that.
I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue. Especially not on this day or tomorrow.
I just want things to go back to before
No snooping, no doubting but trust each other.
If you feel insecure or don't trust me, just have to let me know.

I have insecurities too. I have doubts as well.
If you don't trust me or are feeling insecure, just let me know.
I NEED you to reassure me at times too, tell me that you love me and mean it.
Tell me that you miss me and want to hold me.
Tell me that I'm forever yours even though it might not be true.
These are the things that girls want to hear, and I as a girl want to hear that too.
Otherwise, I analyze. I over think. I doubt and I get scared.
I get insecure about the future....

I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to put myself in that position.
I don't want to fall hard and get my heart broken.
If you want to protect yourself, I want to do the same.

I'm tired.
Tired of the one that has to do the spilling,
tired of the one expressing all my feelings so you can read me inside and out
tired of trying to figure out what's going through your mind
tired of waiting and hoping for the best
tired of looking at everything with half full glass perspective

For once, I just want to know what is EXACTLY going through your mind and what you are thinking at this exact moment.
What you want out of this and where we are going.
If we're not on the same page, then better now than later