太委屈

Your judgment. Your choices. And your decisions speaks about what kind of person YOU are and your morals. All this time it's been contradictory and yet you refuse to admit that you were stupid, young, dumb and made bad mistakes. And the fact that you refuse to admit and take it like a mature man, makes me doubt it all. And you know what it comes across? That you're defending her, her character, their character and what kind of person they are. And the fact that you still associated yourself with her even after all that BS disgusts me. The fact that you were able to be her friend is downright disappointing. Didn't your parents ever taught you not to hang out with bad people, people that does not have the right morales. Because it represents what type of person you are. And yet you sit there judging MY friends because they're big, or ugly. But I know one thing- they're not psycho bitch status like her and they will never stoop that low to the things that she's done to you and to other people.
It seems that you are in denial, denial of what type of person she is, and what she's capable of. And no, I don't want you to hate, but to admit to your wrongs for my own sanity check. To know that you know better, smarter than the choices you made before because you were young and that you know what is wrong from right. But the fact that you can't admit to your wrong actions worries me. If I'm capable of admitting my relationship mistakes and admit that I was dumb for getting myself into that type of situation- then you can too.  Why were you trying to create a facade for her? If she made the stupid choice to getting into that debt- then she can damn right get herself out of it or live with it. What pisses me off even more is that you have not spent anywhere close to $2,000 on me. Not even close- and what's even more depressing is that I won't let you spend money like that because I know how hard it is to earn that every penny and I'm not selfish. And that destroys me inside- every bit. Because its unfair to ME.
I had to get this out of my system because its slowly eating me from the inside. And I know if I do not say this now, then there will be no end to it, because I will bring it up and use it against you. I want to get inside your head, to be able to read you and know the why behind it all. how else would we grow and get to know each other in a deeper level? I hope you understand where I'm coming from. Put yourself in my shoes, to the situations that I have to be in because of your lack of judgment and how it affects our future.
And if you truly don't agree with me and doesn't think she's downright psycho and immoral, then I am utterly speechless. And maybe our values and our beliefs are two mismatch puzzles.

太委屈
If only there was a translation for those words that I wrote. But there isn't. And there's no other words that can replace the meaning of it.

Change for better

The start of 2013 will be with change.
Change the way we handle things
Change our attitudes
Change our perspectives
Change our rules and standards
Change the way we interact with each other

to become a changed person for the better.
I am not the only one that needs to reflect on my actions and re-evaluate.
You need to do same

On the other hand, the question of "when should we stop trying to match two misfit puzzles together?" is constantly running through my head.

When should we stop trying? If ever.. and how do you know its time?
Time to let go and move on...

<3
GZ