"Forgive, sounds good, forget, I dont know if I could.
They say time heals everything, and I'm still waiting"
Okay here goes the spill.
I hate how stubborn, pitiful, unforgiving, you can be. And it shows signs of immaturity.
In other words, stop being a big baby and get over it. Yes, stop being a girl and be a man.
I want a man to take care of me, not a little girl arguing about pointless crap.
I get the point and its not your fault but I am not going to apologize because it is not my fault either.
You have you pet peeves that I have to apparently live religiously by. And I have my pet peeves that I dislike to the max. I understand what happened was not your fault and did not mean to sound "bitchy", but I was annoyed just like how you would be if you were in my shoes. But the fact that you don't want me to whine or even complain about it is absurd. News flash: I did whine and I will continue to whine about certain things. AND it is your job to deal with it. I don't think you'll find a girl that won't whine about anything. If you do find a girl like that, then props to you. On top of that, you continued to be "annoyed" and stayed mad over (safe to say stupidest little thing) through out the rest of the day. And you wanted me to apologize. I will not apologize because 1) not my fault 2) suck it up. Yes you need to suck it up and let that shit go because guess what? Now's not the time for YOU to be pissed about anything. You have no right to be annoyed/ angry about anything I do, especially since you effed up not so long ago. And guess what, I let that go. I'm sure we both can agree that was in a much larger scale than this is and I said I can forgive you. But now thinking back, maybe I shouldn't have ( and I haven't fully forgiven you yet). And it seems like you think everything is fine and will go back to normal and we'll be all golly again. It's not and it wont be for a while, especially since you cant prove to me that you actually care enough to try to make me heal better.
bottom line: you fucked up- bad, I can't forgive you, and I havent forgiven you. and the moment that you screwed up, everything we had was tainted. My heart dropped and I was heartbroken and numb.
And you wonder why I doubt you or question you, because you gave me a reason to.
And all I'm wondering is WHY, why did you have to ruin something so good from the start. Why were you acting like an idiot and didn't process it in your head. Why I ask you. We could've been something so great together, and now I can't promise you if there will be a future for us.
You always wondered why I was so negative lately, well you know why.
Since you got so annoyed at my calling you because you dont feel like talking to me- did you think that maybe I needed to talk to you about something important? So next time instead of blowing me off the phone so quickly for your selfish reasons. Think again. A relationship is about TWO people and thinking about the OTHER person over yourself. Maybe you're not ready to be in a relationship with another person and is better off on your own.
At this moment: I hate you, you annoy me, I dont want to talk to you so I can think if this is what I want.
and maybe you should take this time to process things in your head and figure out what YOU need to do to fix your mistakes and the resentment you have created. I always you were different from other guys, that you were considerate and smart and get the hint and will treat me the way a girl should be treated. But I guess I expected too much. It was too good to be true eh. And it was all a facade
you keep on being stupid and yet I keep on letting it go and not make a big deal out of it. But if you're gonna make a big deal out of something so minimal then I dont see why I have to be the bigger person.
there goes my rant. however you take it is up to you. there is no filter and this is how I feel.
you know how to find me.
GZ
